Dear God, Uhh.. Hey.

im the one who helps them all, and all i need is to know its not for nothing.
all this work, i can't bear for it to fall flat.
im ready for happiness, real happiness.
so bring it on.

im sorry i use this body as a punching bag, but my head and my heart are battered enough that numbing everything else is a relief i couldn't be okay without.
im sorry im so careless, but i need to be free. its temporary satisfaction, but thats what im all about.
im sorry im so bad.
i spend every minute chasing those moments of happiness i miss the big picture.
everyone knows

"you can't miss the bear."

i spent years learning that in the end it's all going to be alright.
life goes on, and someday it will end.
you can spend your time being happy, being helpful, being loved, or living for other people doing what's told or expected of you.
help me remember my own lessons.
help them all be okay with or without me.
give me the strength to pull it together and sleep sound tonight.