I'll Pack Up All My Feelings Like I Packed My Bags

tomorrow i start over.
im leaving it all behind for now, until i know what to do with it all.
yesterday he tried to put everything behind us.
we had a good day, and i wouldnt have left it any other way.

"love you"
were the last two words he said to me.
i think thats why we didn't talk today.
because he wanted it to be that way.

he said he wants to come visit me, but im not sure if i'll want him to.
i need this to be the one thing in my life he hasn't touched.
its the only way.

Maybe I Need Some Rehab, Or Maybe Just Need Some Sleep

we drove home in silence.
awkward small talk still peppered with stabs.
but we sang together and laughed.
the company was so enjoyed, i missed that smell.

i knew he was still thinking about me when i saw him the next
day.
i felt his eyes, and sensed his scheme when he followed me back
outside.
he never let the girl too near me, or let me out of his sight.

i remember when it used to be like that..
pretending like im
the other woman when thats all they'll ever be.

as i danced in front of them i could feel their eyes, and her clutch him
closer.
he smiled when i laughed and looked for me when i wasn't there.

i didn't say goodbye to him either.
not because i really don't care, but because i need to pretend not
to.
i still feel safer on thin ice with him than on solid gound with everyone else.

I'm Not Suicidal, I Just Can't Get Out Of Bed

i didn't go home with him.
he asked me to come see him play so i did.
but i couldn't do it.
it was way too weak of me to forget all of this just for a night.

even though i said no, you thanked me for brining him..
your best friend.
i think i was always part of the reason you grew apart.
and i know im the reason you never grew back.

so i fucked him instead.

i know the reason now why it never works..
its because i never let it.
we're too much the same person.
we never let it...
i can't bring myself to let you see me weak like you need to.
and you never let me see you care.
im just as bad as you are. because i need you to think i don't care.
i know you do the same thing but it hurts me so much more.

facing him again is going to be hard.
he'll see it flashing over my head in neon signs.
but you can see the fine print.
it says i love you if you look close.
because in the dark he looks like you.
and you'll never know how sorry i am.
and hopefully never find out why.