Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

so i guess updating is due.
last weekend was epic.
not even in the good way.
if only i knew at the time leading up the last weekends events that i would need these memories..
it's all a blurr now. blurred from alcohol, fear, confusion, pain and cold.
from witnessing one of the most traumatizing moments of my life thus far.
im not sure how many guys there were, or where they even came from.
mostly because; as ashamed as i am to admit it, i was distracted by the fact that HE was standing not two feet from me.
and there he was, our best friend on the road bleeding.
his girlfriend, my best friend as long as i can remember.. crying on the ground holding his head.
tears. sirens.
it was a long wait in the hospital and he didn't say a word to me.
everyone knew.
they were waiting for it, and trying to read the sideways glaces and head shakes.
it was all too sureal.
this week has been the longest of my life.
i already forget what he looks like.

the bruises and scars have already begun to heal, but the reprocussions have yet to begun.
its so not over yet.

the funniest thing, is that now he can't pretend like he always has before.
he can't pretend he dosn't know me, he can't hide.
we're too intertwined now, and its all his fault.
i hope he hates to see my face, and it ruins all his fun.

but if that body was his.. i'll never be okay.