Most Of This Garbage That I Write, That These People Seem To Like, Is About You And How I Let You Infect My Life

and if they got to know you i doubt that they would see it they'd wonder what i showed you; how you could leave it

i knew it.
again.
if i was keeping count, i'd have lost it by now.
times he's strung me along,
and then turned around to a stranger.
im tired.

but my dream boy does exist.
he's coming this month.
and i pray he's the reason for this epic fail once again.
our mom's have this plan.
dorky?
yes.
but hopeful.

this weekend i'll know more.
i'll know how i feel.
i'll know how he feels.
well, no maybe not.
but i'll decide my next course of action.
and hopefully it doesn't end in fucking his best friend.
again.

my grasp on reality is losening.
i can feel my fingers slipping one at a time.
i don't hit the ground though, is the thing.
im always falling.
stuck in this strange numbness where everything is unbelievable.